Confusingous

Dateline: December 11th, 2008

Confusingous shocked the world by entering a baking contest. His lemon bundt cake awed the audience and wowed the judges. His entry won Second Prize at the First Annual CGRM – Citi Cards Bake-Off.

The Award Winning Lemon Bundt cake is at the bottom right of the picture. Not shown is the First Place Winning Three Layer Chocolate Mousse

Please fell free to send all praise and awe to Confusingous directly. All good vibes will be used to create other amazing projects in the future.

Confusingous recently read ‘Mithras Court’ and must say that he truly enjoyed it cover to cover. The book was a great length and the story paced well. Our resident seer has noticed that many times with Wizards of the Coast (TSR, D&D, etc.) books you get to a point where there are thirty pages left and you just know that the ending will be rushed and, thus, downgrade the rest of the work. Not so here.

David A. Page has written an excellent tale with great characters and Confusingous cannot wait to read his next work!

Buy it here!

OK. Let’s lay it out there. Transporter III is a movie. It is not a documentary. Cars cannot drive atop trains with the ease that Frank Martin displays. Likewise, the air from a tire transported to a duffle back and tied to a car will not provide enough upward force to lift an Audi from the deep depths of a cold lake. We are discussing fiction. This is a film. And Confusingous enjoyed it.

Another thing Confusingous must get clear. He wants to be Jason Statham. So his film review must be taken with a grain of salt. For the love of all that is holy, he saw ‘Crank’ and gave it a good review. So, to level set expectations, if you have seen the previous films in the Transporter Trilogy, you know what you are in for. If not, follow along.

The story line is bland and predictable. The plot, weak. The love interest between Frank Martin, played by Statham, and Valentina makes little sense. But, oh my, the action sequences were fantastic. Fight scenes, chase scenes, escape scenes. This film has it all. And it is all done very well. Well enough that it helps you forget all the negatives detailed in the first few sentences of this paragraph. And none of it is action for the sake of action. It all merges well into the horrendous story. Sometimes you are not sure if the action scene was born from the story line or the story line was born from the action scene. But, either way, it worked.

So, based on a scale of five SIG Sauer’s with five being the best, The Transporter III gets three SIG Sauer’s based on Confusingous’ criteria. However, if you do not have the same Jason Statham fantasy’s as Confusingous, you may want to bump that down to two SIG Sauer’s just to be safe.

As this was finally published in our company newsletter, Confusingous can release this article. The company newsletter slashed it’s length so what you are seeing here is the real deal from The Seer himself. Confusingous did indeed play softball at Shea Stadium where he hit 3-4 with a triple, home run and double scoring four times with 5 RBI’s.

In its 44 years of existence, Shea Stadium has been host to many memorable events. The list includes four World Series, concerts by music heavyweights such as The Beatles, The Who, The Clash, The Rolling Stones, Bruce Springsteen and Billy Joel, as well as a visit by Pope John Paul II. Shea Stadium has been home to not only the Mets but also served as ground for the Jets, Giants and the Yankees. There have been many great memories at this facility in Flushing, New York.

On Friday, September 19th (2008), with the stadium closing its doors for good at the end of the Mets baseball season this year, the organization decided to put its reputation of fielding top notch professional sports on the line by inviting forty ragtag LIC’ers onto the Shea Stadium playing field for two rounds of no-holds-barred softball.

Citigroup employees entered the stadium through the exclusive Club entrance and were taken through the maze of corridors within Shea. A few left and right turns later the players entered the playing area seeing their names cycling on the main scoreboard in right-center field as well as several special welcomes from the team on smaller scoreboards throughout the stadium. Cameras flashed as employees took pictures of the home team dugout as well as other areas of the stadium. The team also provided some standard ballpark fare (i.e. hot dogs and soda) which the players enjoyed prior to and during the competitive softball games.

Teams were randomly selected by the umpire, who the Mets graciously provided to oversee the games. The match-ups were competitive and good-spirited with scattered displays of hitting prowess and fielding excellence. Both games, played under a clear blue sky, were close to the late innings but, in the end Team One (who was the ‘home’ team in the first game and the ‘road’ team in the second) completed the improbable sweep of the days activities.

Following the games, more pictures were taken and more sodas were sipped. Players gathered up their gear and left Shea Stadium, many for the last time. For some the event represented the realization of a childhood dream: putting on a baseball glove and trotting on the same field that saw innings of heroics from the likes of Tom Seaver, Gary Carter, Tommy Agee, Joe Torre, Lenny Dykstra, Dwight Gooden, Mike Piazza, Darryl Strawberry and many others. The smiles that were on their faces that day would not soon leave them.

A glance over the centerfield wall shows the overwhelming presence of the future of the Mets: Citi Field. New memories will be created over the years in the state-of-the-art facility for the many seasons that it will be open. However, the experience of those Citi employees lucky enough to participate in the festivities at the present home of The New York Mets will certainly not be soon forgotten.

Hex Lubinger is the former guitarist of The Shipwrecks and has been working on his epic project, Zen Fuego for a Chinese Democracy amount of time. Confusingous sat down with Hex to discuss his take on The Shipwrecks:

Confusingous – So, how did you get into music?
Hex – Well, it’s a long journey, actually. Growing up in the 70’s my parents listened to a lot of the music on the country stations then (back when there was choice of country stations in the New York City area). I developed an appreciation for Alabama, Kenny Rogers, Dolly Parton, Eddie Rabbit and a lot of those artists that were big and becoming cross-over stars. However, with the advent of MTV I was exposed to a lot of different artists. Bands like U2, Journey, Judas Priest, and Def Leppard added a new layer to what I was listening to. I caught quite a rock bug. When I was in middle school I started listening to more classic rock artists. Beyond The Beatles and The Rolling Stones, big influences to me were Led Zeppelin and Cream. I also started listening to The Grateful Dead which I think helped to expand my genre base to bluegrass, blues and jazz which really opened up my influence horizons.

When I got into high school, I rediscovered a lot of that hard rock I was listening to ten years earlier and got very into Ozzy Osbourne/Black Sabbath, Iron Maiden, Motorhead, and AC/DC. In 1990 I saw AC/DC live at the Brendan Byrne Arena in New Jersey and I was so (thunder)struck that the next day I bought a guitar for $10 as well as a copy of ‘74 Jailbreak on cassette. It took me about three years to actually learn to play a chord, but I would say that seeing that concert set up what I really wanted to do in life. The power and volume sunk into my bones and it’s been there in some way since.

C – Why did it take you so long to learn to play the instrument?
H – For me, I definitely learn from seeing. Taking lessons was financially out of the question at that time. I had a book of folk guitar that my mom had from college but it did not register. A few years later I found that I have dyslexia and a bit of ADD so I’m sure that did not help. When I was in college a few friends from home began playing so I sat in with them and picked their brains. I learned a few chords and the pentatonic scale. Then, going back to the books, it made a lot more sense to me and I was able to follow it. I did eventually end up taking lessons but that wasn’t until 2003 when I was in a rut and wanted to expand my playing. I found the one thing about self-teaching myself is that when I sat down with an instructor or watch instructional tapes, there would be things in the beginner section that I would have no clue about and there would be things in the expert section that I can play circles around. I more or less learned what I could with no real pattern or curriculum. I’m not saying it was the way to go because I would definitely not say it worked for me. I would always advise a prospective player to learn to read music and learn music theory. It may take the fun out of it but you will thank yourself later on. Never limit yourself.

C – How did you come about joining The Shipwrecks?
H – Are you ready for another long journey? (laughs)
Short Answer – Chris Smith
Long Answer – Chris Smith and I go back to grade school. We went to camp together for ten summers in New Hampshire (William Lawrence Camp). While not a music camp, music was always a huge part of life at camp. Between radios blaring and people just playing music, I got exposed to a lot of bands there. I think I really got into Van Halen and Blues Traveler because of being at camp. Matt Nathanson went there. I can remember him playing some of his early material there.

Anyway, Chris Smith and some friends (Tom Winner and Chris Carbone – also both Ridgewood guys) began writing folk-like songs. We would all put together lyrics and Tom would put it to music. It was initially called the Center Table Posse – or CTP. Eventually, we changed it to Diana’s Bath named after a natural pool in the area that we visited many times on our days off. Chris eventually picked up the guitar again after not playing for a few years so he could start putting music to his lyrics. Chris eventually bought a new guitar and I bought his old Yamaha acoustic and began pushing him to show me some chords. I found it necessary because I was hearing songs but was unable to convey them verbally. I really learned more and more chords because I was hearing them in my songs and needed to be able to play them.

Over winter breaks from college, Chris and I would sit in his basement, drink beer and play songs. We would start building a set list based on our own material and covers. I’d bring in a Stones CD and be like ‘We need to learn this track!’ and we would pick up our guitars and learn it. Chris, who had been playing piano for as long as I can remember, really helped me to develop my ear. Really hear the changes and nuances in the music that was being blended in my ear. It’s not like I wasn’t hearing it, but when I went to play it was gone.

Chris went to Brown and began playing coffee houses as a solo act. I went back to the University of Connecticut and really began working on my playing. I had a resident assistant who was a great player and teacher and he sat with me and jammed. He taught me some scales and I really began learning the fretboard. Some nights after a twelve pack of beer I would pull out the guitar and begin playing things like ‘Bitch’ and ‘Knights in White Satin’ and eventually someone probably as drunk or drunker began singing with me. I remember once a friend of mine puked while we were playing. (laughs). Good times.

Anyway, fast forward to about 1995. I moved back home and took classes at Ramapo College part time. Just needed some time to level set where I was and where I wanted to go. Chris formed a band at school and I began driving up to Providence to see them and hang with them. The guitar player was a guy named Martin Small who came from a lot of the same hard rock/metal influences that I was into. We would talk all night about metal acts and guitarists and Marshall stacks and Les Pauls and on and on. Martin was also a killer player and I learned so much from him. I started informally working for the band, unfortunately called Smit Haus, and sometimes playing with them. The band ripped it up around Providence for a few years so I hung around as well. It was at that time that I met Frank Morris and Trevor O’Driscoll who would both be prominent in the world of The Shipwrecks.

In 1997 a good portion of the band graduated from Brown and decided as a last hurrah to travel across the country with Smit Haus in what was called the Force of Will tour. I was set to go back to UConn in the fall so I had a summer free as well. I hitched up with them and we played in a lot of the country and recorded in Chicago. I got to see a lot of the country that I never had seen and probably never would have. I met a lot of different people and saw a lot of different bands. It was really cool to talk shop with so many different musicians and club owners. And a real education.

C: What do you mean by that?
H: Well, I think you get very isolated being in the Northeast. It feels like it’s a scene on itself. There is a Northeast attitude amongst bands and clubs. You get outside of that and it’s very different. You play venues that have bands because they have ten square feet to put them. It’s not really set up as a music club but they have live music. You play places where an audience has never heard of you but they are so psyched that you are there to play for them. They dance. They come up to you and thank you. I’ve played shows in New York where people were sitting around and reading newspapers. And no one really had an ego. People were really psyched to talk about music. None of this ‘my band can beat up your band’ vibe that pollutes the NYC scene. So you learn a lot from people because you can talk to them and they are just as into it as you are.

Anyway, back to the story. I got back to UConn and played with a few bands but nothing really stuck. I did coffee houses and still played late night binge drinking sessions. I was set to graduate in December of 1998 and Smitty (note: Chris Smith) tells me him and the band were moving in together in a loft in Downtown Brooklyn. I told him if he could hold me some floor space I’d be there after Christmas. And I moved in on December 26th.

The loft was great because it was artists and musicians. Smit Haus rehearsed there and a few other artists used the space. Dowdy Smack for instance which featured Ze Frank (famous blogger) and Tad Kinchla (bassist from Blues Traveler). I began working on my playing and writing a bunch of material.

In early 2000, I was unemployed and went back to UConn to work in the dining services department (where I had worked during college) to get some cash while some interviews were being worked up by a recruiter. While I was away from the loft, Frank Morris and Trevor O’Driscoll began working with Smitty and Martin Small on turning some of Frank’s poetry into songs. I came back to the loft after two weeks and as soon as I came home, Smitty asked me to sit in and play a practice because Martin couldn’t make it. After the practice, Frank asked me to join. I guess because I was not as polished as Martin and Frank was definitely seeing the project as being more East Village/CBGB like then the West Village funk rock stuff that Smit Haus was playing. A few days later I got a job. So life was good for Hex. (laughs)

Frank and I began working on material. Trevor began working on gigs. And the rest is history.

C: I take it things were not as smooth as that.
H: Well, actually, it was all very organic. I’d take a riff that I was working on and Frank would look through his papers and he’d have lyrics that fit. It was like a two piece puzzle. (laughs) Eventually it became tough because we all became very protective of our contributions. If someone asked me to change something it felt like an attack. I can remember fighting over notes. I mean, how many notes are in a song? And we would fight over one note. It seems petty but we felt that that one note could make or break the song.

The gigs weren’t very easy either. Our first show was at our loft. We had a party for my birthday. We did a quick rehearsal the afternoon before the show and my amp fell over and broke. I had to make and adhoc stage amp by wiring two practice amps together and putting it through a 50 watt speaker.

Our first gig outside of our house (laughs) was in Tribeca at The Orange Bear. It was an open mic night. We followed several aging hippy artists and bands. And then we come on like an explosion. I think I broke one of Ryan (Sackrider – the drummer)’s cymbals with my fist. The owner banned us from the club. We did a CB’s audition a few weeks later so that didn’t really hurt us.

We did a gig at the Charleston in Williamsburg, Brooklyn where we booked the night. We had Metal John play (who we met at that Orange Bear gig) and a few other acts. We went on for our second set (we closed the night) and Frank is no where to be found. I went to the bar looking for him and he is gone. The bartender also has cut off the whole band from beer, which was our payment for the night. Turns out Frank was kicked out for some reason that was never made clear. I don’t remember what we did next but I believe it involved packing up and getting out of Dodge. (laughs)

C: Crazy stuff.
H: Hey, Mick told us ‘it’s only rock and roll.’ (laughs)

I think one of the nuttier things that happened was when we played Arlene Grocery for the last time. We had a song called ‘Fury’ and there was a line that said ‘I cut my leg behind the knee and let my blood flow into the sea.’ Anyway, we get to that line and Frank is kneeling at the front of the stage in a kind of Bono at Red Rocks pose. He sings the line. And he gets up. I notice that he is bleeding behind his knee. The guy has just cut his leg with a razor on stage! (laughs) I bet Iggy Pop was proud of that one! (laughs).

The first time we played Arlene’s I remember being so drunk that the only way I can stand was to keep moving. So I was walking in small circles around the stage just to keep upright. I listened to the tape of that show later and I couldn’t believe it. My playing was actually really good and some of my solos did not even sound like me. I figured I had a good night but did not tempt fate again. I was probably one PBR from laying in the fetal position on stage.

C: And it all ended …
H: Yes. All good things must come to an end. (laughs). I mean, it goes back to what I said before. We were all very protective of what we were contributing. We took it very serious. And some people were becoming paranoid. Like, we all thought people were talking behind out back and we were. We came together as friends and friendship was most important. To keep that together, we could not be a band anymore. So, we played that killer gig at Arlene’s and called it a day.

Smitty and I played with Frank in a project he had put together for St. Patrick’s Day in 2003. And The Shipwrecks played a gig in December 2004. And that was about it.

C: Any regrets?
H: None. I’d do it all over again. Exactly the same way? Probably not. But it wouldn’t be far off. I learned a ton and developed because of it. It’s all good. All good.

C: Any future for The Shipwrecks?
H: I guess they say never say never. So I’m pretty safe with that.

It’s funny because Frank asked me to play with his new band a few months ago. I was tempted but, honestly, it wasn’t in the cards. Plus, I had just sold most of my guitars and equipment right before that for the very un-rock and roll reason of freeing up closet space. I have two guitars left which are the first two I ever bought. So I’m right back where I started which may be the best thing for my music.

Whenever The Shipwrecks come up in conversation, people are always telling me we should get back together. It’s a good thing to hear that people are still into it and wanting it. For now, we’ll leave them wanting more. In the meantime, I saw that there is a Shipwrecks album on iTunes! Crazy. I remember trying hard to get something on the web! Things changed, I guess.

Did you know that Mr. T’s real name is Colin Powell. Coincidence? The stars think not!

It has been this way for two long seasons and Confusingous has little explanation for it. No matter the score. No matter how many skaters each side has on the ice. The Rangers are always on the penalty kill.

As our resident Fortune Guru is writing this scathing review of our Broadway Blueshirts, the Rangers have given up seven, yes, seven short handed goals already this season. That is not even a mark you would strive for after an eighty-two game campaign let alone this soon. Should we be surprised? Certainly not as anyone who has watched New York can see the team has inexplicably had trouble moving the puck out of their own end against even a token forecheck. Anyway, based on his theory, Confusingous would say that while the scoreboard would dictate that the Rangers are on a powerplay, the teams are seemingly playing at full strength.

On paper, Glen Sather has upgraded his defense in the off-season losing dead weight like Marek Malik and picking up veteran Wade Redden. Dan Girardi and Mark Staal also have another season of experience and it is showing in their confidence and play. However, the team still acts like spectators in their defensive end. Even the most offensively challenged team comes off like the scoring lines that the great Penguins teams sported in the early 1990’s. Last night’s game against the Canucks (which are sporting low-grade Whalers rip-off sweaters as of late) looked like a classic Generals against the Globetrotters matchup sans the ladders. Even when Henrik Lundqvist was taken out, the onslaught continued. Luckily Steve Valiquette was up to the task of making ridiculous saves to keep the Rangers in the game.

New York is tops in a relatively weak Atlantic Division early on in the 2008-9 campaign. Recent history has dictated that they are due for a slump and that the Devils are due for winning streak (though no MAR-TIN will delay that prospect). The existence and length of a slump can only be remedied by Tom Renney and his coaching staff. Their ability to improve their defense and the urgency to do so will be the only thing that could keep this team performing at a high level. The Rangers sport a superstar in backstop Henrik Lundqvist however the team will not be lifting Lord Stanley’s Cup anytime soon if they continue to rely on his ace play and under two goals against average because this cannot hold on for long (see the aforementioned Vancouver game last night). Defense must improve and scoring must increase. However, giving up short handed goals and having teams play keep away in the Rangers defensive zone (Confusingous will not bring up the multitude of unexplainable penalties the Blueshirts take game after game) takes the air out of the team and the Garden faithful. And without either of those, it’s going to be another long season ending with a second round exit.

The team has shown flashes of brilliance and a resiliency to stay in games that they were seemingly buried in. However, until they are able to put it together for sixty minutes every night, they will never take that next step. And it all starts with the defense.

AC/DC w/ The Answer
Madison Square Garden, New York, NY, USA
November 12, 2008

The year was 1990. The day was November the 11th. The place was the Brendan Byrne Arena at The Meadowlands in East Rutherford, NJ. The experience was mind blowing. A fifteen year old is taken to another world of rock and roll decadence. Where a thirty something gentleman commented, with the aid of several tins of American swill, that we certainly do not see woman like that on ‘The Outside.’ And, truly, everything beyond the walls of the arena that night was ‘The Outside.’ We, hard rockers of New Jersey, were inside The Asylum. And, that night, our psychiatrist was a five pronged attack known as AC/DC.

The night had altered Confusingous. He had a new purpose. The next day he bought a used Telecaster knock-off guitar from a friend for $10 and a cassette copy of ‘’74 Jailbreak’ and, suddenly, anything was possible. It took him another 4 years to actually play a noticeable chord on said guitar, but the seed was set.

Fast forward eighteen years and one day to November 12, 2008. Confusingous was off to see AC/DC again. This time about five miles away from the site of his first Mass. This was Madison Square Garden. The same stage as ‘The Song Remains The Same.’ If rock and roll had a kingdom, it lies on 33rd Street between 7th and 8th Avenues in New York City. And truly AC/DC were worthy royalty to take the throne.

But eighteen years is a long time. Alice Cooper said at eighteen you are a boy and you are a man. Could the fire that was struck within Confusingous when he was fifteen still burn at thirty-three? Only time would tell.

Confusingous dragged his wife to see the opening act, The Answer. Quick research on the band told him that Joe Elliot and Jimmy Page were big fans of the band (certainly that amounts to something) and that they were the rebirth of Free. The band won over our resident fortune teller with screaming notes from a Les Paul shot through a double stack of Marshalls. The sound had some of the hard grooves from the 70’s and the songs were well crafted. A good show overall. Confusingous saw the Free comparison but felt The Answer is the test tube concoction between UFO, Humble Pie with a couple of chromosomes from LA Guns thrown in for good measure. A great sound. A great band. A great performance. Their catalog is not available through normal channels in The States so Confusingous was forced to eBay a copy of a Korean version of their CD. These are truly wondrous times.

Thirty minutes later the crowd was treated with a cartoon featuring the patented AC/DC sophomoric humor filled with innuendo and rock. The band took off at it’s conclusion into ‘Rock and Roll Train’ off their latest release, ‘Black Ice.’ They screamed through an hour and forty five minute set which covered all ends of their thirty five year history. The band was as tight as ever and Brian Johnson sounded as well as Confusingous has ever heard him. There was pyro, the famous inflatable ‘Rosie,’ canons that actually kicked-back after firing like those on some British galleon hunting the Spanish Armada. Wearing their customary stage gear (though drummer Phil Rudd looked more like an IT architect living in Park Slope than a drummer playing for one of the highest selling artists in history), the show was typical AC/DC: A party from start to finish that keeps you smiling, dancing and leaves you satisfied.

Confusingous did not hear he was going to the show until two days earlier. For those two days he was a man. About 4:30 the late afternoon of the show, while at his 9-5, he changed into his concert gear: blue jeans, a black t-shirt with an Iron Maiden long sleeve over it. Suddenly, he went from man to boy. That rock and roll fire that burned within him on that November night in 1990 had returned after it had been extinguished the last few years. That fire that caused him to buy a guitar, learn how to play it and rip through the Northeast club scene for ten years was back. AC/DC was good for what ailed him. And while he is not going to buy a guitar (as his wife would kill him), UPS has informed him that his brand new copy of ‘Black Ice’ is due to arrive in his hands today. Some things never change. Thankfully, AC/DC is one of them.