Confusingous

What does a vegetarian do in a dog eat dog world?

If something inside is telling you to do something, punch it to make sure it is not messing around.

If art imitates life, why do mimes act so weird?

Live for today, but try to be here tomorrow.

Why do ‘As Seen On TV’ ads make improbable occurances seem like common situations?

Fall down once, get up once. Unless it’s a slapstick routine. Stay down until the applause ends.

It’s ok to be a number, but be sure to refer to yourself in Roman Numerals because it’s cooler.

Why do lawyers on TV commercials always have moustaches?

Whatever happened to price tags?

It’s oxygen or nothing!

Happy New Year!

Cry if you must, laugh if you can.

Science can only explain so much. Thus, science fiction.

Age is the accumulation of time.

If it’s too loud, your too sensitive.

Merry Christmas!
Your Resident Seer

Whatever happened to using the turn signal?

‘Have you seen Junior’s grades?’ – David Lee Roth

Glasgow owes Roddy Piper a debt of gratitude.

Fall back to tomorrow. Then spring forward to yesterday. Time is like that.

Can you imagine a world without Dubnium?

Putting things in powder form is a science on to itself, unless it’s already in powder form.